We finished up another session of Kingmaker and the characters are up to third level!
What can I say about this session? Well, I continue with my mess with bugs every session tradition. This week it was a giant trap door spider. This time it wasn’t much of a bother but our cavalier did use his lance in an amusing and pole vault like manner that lead to some interesting mental images. We did have a bunch of fun at the cavalier’s expense. “Look, Sir Osric. Evil Doers!” Yeah, we were quoting Gamers: Dorkness Rising.
We also discovered an interesting thing about Elf culture. Did you know that every time the party needed to crawl or otherwise deal with a dirty or otherwise foul job, that it is an Elf holiday and they can’t work. It’s like it’s against their culture or something to get dirty. Really, it’s the truth.
And lastly, the compass rose. That’s the thing on a map that tells you which way is north, in case you didn’t know. Well, the one DM hastily scribbled on the map looked, well. like a penis. This lead to whole other string of jokes and a suggestion for a new navigation metric for any future Zork games.
DM: Which way do you guys go?
Party: We go balls, balls. East.
Best quote for the session foes to our DM, “That guy would have helped you, if you hadn’t killed him in his sleep.”

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