Oct 052015

food fail
Biscuits and gravy are one of the staples especially in the South. I’m no different. I like it and usually throw on a little hot sauce. It’s a simple and comfort food. Sausage gravy. Well, that isn’t hard to make. Good biscuits are little more difficult but it can be done and doesn’t take a whole lot of skill.
Well, the Lays chips are pretty easy to talk about. Imagine a food you like being ground up into a powder then ran through a chemistry lab then sprinkled onto a potato chip. There you got it. But this other. No this is a crime against nature.
Larry The Cable Guy Biscuits
I just couldn’t pass this up at the store. It was like driving by a car accident. I just had to look. I knew it would be train wreck. I had low expectation. But even those low expectations weren’t met. Here’s a little peak at the frozen wonder.
Frozen Hell
When still frozen it looks pretty damned unappetizing. But just follow the directions and it turns into this!
A bubbling mass of gooey gravy and mutated biscuits. I was going to try to taste it but you people don’t pay enough for that shit. But the smell alone was enough. It smelled like paste. You know that kind when you mix water and flour. Yeah and not even in a good way.
That was food experiment for the week. I messed with this so you wouldn’t have to.

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 Posted by at 9:30 am
Aug 192014

Wow I saw this thing at the store down the road and really people you don’t need this at all.
It cooks ramen in half the time. Meaning 4 minutes. Really, you takes you 8 minutes to make ramen? It reusable. Just like a bowl. You don’t have to mess with a complicated stove just use the microwave. You don’t have to use pots or pans. My god. What are you people doing in your kitchens. As a special feature, it rinses easily and is dishwasher safe. And the greatest thing of it reduces sodium by 50%. That’s right. It says on the front of the package. On the back, it explains, how a little plastic tray does this miracle. Use 50% of the flavor packet. Uh so. So what you’re saying is that the tray actually doesn’t reduce sodium. Just use half the flavor dust. Or maybe better yet. Make your own broth to go with the noodles.
Any way, you buy two of them on Amazon for about $14. They make a great gag gift if you want a quick laugh at a high price.

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 Posted by at 1:55 pm
Oct 042013

Yes, it’s edition of “Crap you don’t need in your kitchen”! Thank you, Amazon.
Because you serving cake it so difficult that you need a special tool for it. But don’t listen to me. Just read this sterling review or just look at this happy customer.
It’ll just set you back $39. That’s right. You’d be dropping danged near $40 for this little gem. Just save your money.
And remember they all want cake.

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 Posted by at 10:34 am
Apr 052013

If you’ve hung out here enough you know that I’m not a cool hipster kind of guy. I’m not health food nut and I can be a sarcastic ass. But I finally got a chance to sit in front the TV for a couple of hours and I see this commercial.

Really, Saute Express. Just look at the ingredients. It’s pretty simple stuff. Chances are you have the same ingredients sitting in your pantry. But “What about the time savings?” Your life is so busy that an extra minute is going to completely throw off your schedule. So you don’t know how to cook? OK, if you’re really truly culinaryly challenged then chances this isn’t going to help you that much. Buy a cookbook or watch some cooking shows and keep the local pizza place on speed dial. If you’re just scared then buck up little camper and go play in your kitchen. It’s just seasoning, it’s not all that special. You’re a grown up and you can handle it.
So yeah, this goes into that brand new category of “Crap You Don’t Need In Your Kitchen”.

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 Posted by at 10:14 am